Men Do Cry - Its OK

I was thinking the other day about the times as an adult I cried - the first time was in Korea - after a neighboring outfit got hammered with enemy artillery we went over to see what we could do - a lot of casualties - I came upon a corporal who was badly wounded so I called for a medic and sat down with the guy - sat with him for a good 20 minutes but neither of us say a word - I could tell by his eyes that he was scared and kinda knew that he wasn't going to make it - I held him up and then heard the rattling sound and he was gone - I laid him back down on the ground - didn't even know his name - later that night something came over me and I started crying uncontrollable - thought how this poor guy would never have a life - how sad this loved ones were going to be when they get the sad news -

The second time was when my dear wife passed away - she was dying of bladder cancer and was in a bed we set up in the parlor - I and two of my sons were with her because we were told my the attending nurse that she didn't have long to live - at one point I lifted her up and held her close to me - I told her how much I loved her - told her we would see each other again - I heard that rattling sound and she was gone - it took awhile for what just happened to sink in - I remember going up stairs to our bed room and crying - there were times after that when I couldn't help from crying because I missed her so -

Weeks after that I was coming home from a VFW where I met a old buddy that I used to hang out with before I got married - on the way home that evening I stopped in a restaurant to have a bite to eat - I sat at the counter next to a younger guy - we got talking and he asked me how old I was - I told him 64 - he was in his late 30s - he asked me what he was going to learn from where he was now and to the point when he was as old as me - I looked at him and said - "you will find out that there is a lot of heart ache in this life"

You gave that young man some honest advice. In my life with some of the terrible things I've seen and experienced at the hands of others I thought cared about me,I couldn't begin to write a post about all of it. I've cried at times....a lot. It's the only way to cope,sometimes. I regard it as Mother Nature's safety valve.

We grew up in an era when men were taught to be manly. Hold things close to the vest, don't cry, etc, etc.
Today, relative to other groups suicide rates among middle aged men are insane. Divorce, job loss, loss of loved ones, etc. They all start hitting around mid life. Bottle crap up and your just begging for problems

My Dad died when I was young and off the rails. Didn't spend much time with him during his final 18 months. When word came that he had died, my first reaction was relief and tears of joy. I might have cried once during his funeral, and the force was there in parade uniform. These very many years later, when I think how my life might have gone differently with a dads advice on marriage, raising kids, divorce. Or pretty much every Christmas morning, when I think about the 40+ birthdays and Christmas mornings without being able to shoot the crap, I shed some. Had a hell of a good cry last August when when our dog died. Sometimes when my daughter has set backs, and or my fiance.

I used to laugh at my Ex wife, Ex girlfriend. Both could open the faucets during movies. The fiance can too, though with her I don't laugh about it.
Only two movies that have gotten to me were
Brians Song
Field of dreams . When the dad comes out of the corn to throw a ball. Something I never really got to do. Wasn't prepared for that, that hit really hard.

Was he on the job.

He was what's known as a smoke eater. A firefighter before equipment and safety protocols. He once went into a factory and sucked in tons of amonia for example. Lung Cancer.