Originally Posted by
Fenelon
We used to do the controlled hunt in wmu 80 and the swamp we hunted was a nightmare for dragging. The bush was Canada holly, shrub willow, and runty black ash. You could barely walk through it to dog the bush. It was so thick you could not drag with two people standing side to side. The place was filthy with beaver so you had to deal with hundreds of sharp punji stakes sticking up everywhere. When you heard your buddy get shooting your first thought was “please god don’t let it be a big buck!”. The drag distance was close to 3km and I remember us puking from exertion. We end up shooting a massive 13pt buck that weighs 289lb dressed at the butcher. The four of us gather at the kill site and soon realize the nightmare that is coming. Instead of 3km through the swamp, we elect to drag it 150m to an excavated drainage ditch that runs down the property line that borders a peatmoss operation. There’s about 11 inches of water, enough for one person to float the deer out by canoe. Three hours later we are back with a canoe and we almost pass out getting the buck loaded. It’s now an easy 1500m paddle out, until the Citiot who owns the peat property shows up. He starts screaming that we are on private property. We try being nice and explaining our situation, but the guy insists we cannot use the ditch to paddle out. I try the sugar approach again and pull out my aerial photo copy and the tenure map, showing him that the ditch appears to be right on the property line and there is no visible fence, nor any signs or sprayed dots indicating private land. He loses it and starts swearing up a storm calling us names I cannot repeat. My one buddy keeps a calm, quite voice and tells the guy “ Mister, we are not particularly fond at the foulness that is being uttered by your mouth. If you keep it up I’m going to be inclined to ask you to ingest the metabolic product that leaves my body from a hole that lies south of my beltline”. The guy stopped yelling and just had a confused expression on his face. I literally collapsed on the bank of the ditch, laughing so hard I was crying. Next he pulls his phone, calls the police, and starts taking pictures. He demands to know our names. My buddy who’s paddling uses his Arnie Schwartz voice and says “I’m the Party-Pooper and those two are Adolph Hitler and Josef Stalin. Short end to the story - the cop shows up two hours later when we are eating lunch, takes one look at the situation and tells the peat man not to waste his time calling again.