Divorce is a fact of life. In fact it's probably the right thing for many. No denying that in many cases it's premature and divorce lawyers drive Benzes and Beemers and have kids in private school because of that.
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Divorce is a fact of life. In fact it's probably the right thing for many. No denying that in many cases it's premature and divorce lawyers drive Benzes and Beemers and have kids in private school because of that.
Lol. Yep.
lots of theories out there divorce rates are so high. Was a time people stayed together miserable, because that's what our parents did, or that's what society expected people to do.
Now they are easy, if not cheap. But ask many divorced people if they are happier post divorce despite the financial "hardship"...........answer will be near universal.
When I first got divorced, I did a fair bit of reading. Statistics say it takes people 7 years to recover.
Years later i look look back and wonder about that word "recover".
Financially?
find themselves?
All philosophical that.
**************
Back on topic.
the reality is, most people and don't forget the mean duo income can barely find the money to save for their futures. How many have the disposable income for RESPs on top of "everything" else.
And yet, somehow they are supposed to pay for other people's kids?
what happens when life deals a speed bump, be it small (totalling a car and needing to $$ for a new one), middling (some health thing) or even 9months of LTD...or the larger ones
job loss
Divorce
caring for a dependant child/parent.
were killing the middle class
Hit the wrong key
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Lol, we all do it. :)
JbenQuote:
Originally Posted by JBen
When David Miller was Mayor we were forced to hire people from " at risk neighbourhoods "
Not on merit but on social class.
Every one of those hires was a disaster !
That was a ticket out of poverty and a pension. Every one of them lost that job by there own doing.
I have worked at the same place since I was 17, I am now 53 and still working. I will soon get that golden pension after over 36 years of work.
Why anyone would be concerned about my well deserved pension when we have " baby factories " popping out kids is beyond me.
That baby factories monthly welfare cheques are much more that my pension and at least I had to get up at 5 AM for 36 years to get mine.
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Well let me put my two cents in - first of all lets talk divorce - I know that I grew up in a different time but the question is why so many divorces now - growing up I didn't know of anyone that got divorced - except for those Hollywood people - when someone got married it was a life time commitment - for better or worse until death do us part - things were tough for many families but the parents stuck it out - because of the commitment made and because of the kids - there also was a religious factor - for Christians divorce was a no-no -
My father-in-law was an old time coal miner - he drank like a fish and was abusive to his wife and family but you know something his wife made the best of it and raised several nice kids - to this day I give her credit for how she kept the family together - they both died many years ago but the life time commitment of marriage still lives on with their kids and grandkids
Growing up in a coal mining town where men often got killed in the mines and often didn't work steady was tough - we were poor and so was just about everyone else - but the families were strong and stayed together because of their faith - my one uncle was killed in the mines at age 29 - he left 5 little kids behind - eleven years later my other uncle was killed in the mines - he had 7 kids - you know something ever one of those kids grew up and became responsible people - what was the thing that helped them through troubled times - their Christian faith -
Now I know many of you will disagree with me and some will state the fact that today Christians are getting divorced at pretty much the same rate as non-believers - and yes sadly that is true - but it doesn't eliminate the fact that Christ taught that divorce was wrong - people today don't really know what love is - if you really love someone you can't fall out of love at some later date - if you love someone you would die for that person if you had to - people are not careful enough when the chose a partner and then they go into marriage with one foot sticking out ready to run when things get a little tough
Then finally there is the idea that if you work hard enough you can make something of yourself no matter how difficult it is - believe me I know - when I was discharged from the army I had nothing - I started working - went to school and got an associate degree in engineering - continued to work and went to night school and after 13 years ending up with a BS and MS in Mechanical Engineering - as a result I had good jobs and a nice life style - my 3 boys all have engineering degrees and my daughter is a nurse - all doing very well - so no matter how hard it might be if you really want something bad enough there is a way to get it - it may be a lot harder because of where you start from but it can be done and with the support of a strong family your kids will benefit also
Oh jeez :)
As I said/meant/intended. Not all break out, few do. I buried a couple friends back then, and likely left more behind. Why should we help them? So that those people your referring to (too late by then most often)...dont (searches for right words) raise kids who learn from their parents for lack of better words. Have to get them while they are young.
When I spent way too much time in Regent Park it opened my eyes to many things. Id be sleeping with a girl in a roach infested co-op, walking through the "projects" at all hours, where.......Many of the kids/teens wanted nothing of their parents lives, which ran the gamut from scamming the system, cashing their welfare checks and buying booze, selling this that or the other...Do you understand how hard it is to break out, or the cycle?
Think just about kids who suffer physical abuse. Guess what....they tend to become abusers themselves.
****
Look around today.
Certainly there are those with cell phones, laptops (kind of needed for school/life today)...Where do they come from? Well likely for many, from crime when your on those sides of the tracks. When your 12 or 13 and life is very different from what you or I were raised in, but the kids with money are those in the gangs....well you become runners, and on and on.
And what does it cost you?
Taxes to put them in jail
Maybe your kid when they fall to drugs
Maybe a cop when they get shot
Insurance on your car
Social services, be they healthcare related (junkies) or healthcare ( they don't eat/live well, usually the opposite by destroying their spleens and more)
and on
and on
Answers?
Likely beyond me, other than better use of our tax dollars.
and for safeties sake.
do note I fully agreed with you
"yup"
disagree with the hardline stance
Watch out Straggalelake , you mentioned the 'P' word, others will demonize you for it.
Bring it on !Quote:
Originally Posted by fishermccann
At least I get up in the morning and do my job.
If you want to focus on wasted money let's start with people that don't own an alarm clock.
If you work and don't like the benefits from your job that's understandable but don't think by other people giving up there benefits it's going to help you.
That's called a race to the bottom.
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JbenQuote:
Originally Posted by JBen
You don't know how I grew up.
Don't assume I had it better than someone else.
Making excuses for people's behaviour is just enabling them.
That does more harm in the long run.
Some people have a tougher start than others.... That's life.
Set the alarm clock and get out of bed. !!
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