Paul - I know how you feel - having gone through the same thing 18 years ago - I know that there isn't anything that can be said to ease the pain - they say that grief is the price we pay for loving someone - how true - the next year or so will be the hardest - things will get somewhat better as time goes on - but things will never be the same - after all these years I still think of my wife just about every day - I'm very sorry Paul - I will keep you in my prayers