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Thread: All That is Really Important is Time Sorry for the long post.

  1. #11
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    Im very sorry to hear this.

    I have a close family member who was diagnosed, and told she had 6-8 months, 4 years ago. Stay strong.

    S.

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  3. #12
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    Paul, I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. Both of you will be in my prayers.

  4. #13
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    Very sorry to hear Paul, while I understand your point of view, you can't beat yourself up too badly. You did what you had to do, to provide.

    We've swapped a few war stories, and lead very similar lives when it comes to work. While it is difficult to miss dinners, birthdays, events, etc. We do it, so that we can provide.

    Could we find other jobs, that kept us home, sure we could have, but what suffers in turn for not doing something that's a combination of what you like to do, what you're good at doing, and what provides opportunities for the family.

    More time at home, but possibly, less quality time, and time spent being un happy instead.

    Allot of people thing the road life is glamorous, nice hotels, meals out all the time, entertaining clients, and sometimes, it is. They don't see the side like you are describing now.

    I wish nothing but the best for you and your wife, and have no doubt every minute from now will be spent cherishing one another, and the family.

    I am sure you are probably filled with guilt, but remember, we can't do what we do out there, without a good base, and that is your wife, she did it to support her husband, who she loves and cherishes, and I am willing to bet, she'd do it all over again. Don't hold yourself responsible, I highly doubt she does.

    Let the past be that, and live for the now.

    All the best Paul,

    Jason.
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    Canadian Waterfowl Supplies Pro Staff | Go Hunt Birds Field Staff

  5. #14
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    You are right about "time". Don't be sorry about the post, it touched many of our lives.

  6. #15
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    Paul, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  7. #16
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    Best wishes and may God bless.
    How is it one careless cigarette can cause a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to light a campfire?

  8. #17
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    Paul, what's important isn't time, it's those who are closest to us. They are all that matter in life.

    I learned my lessons six years ago, where in the span of 6 months I "lost" everything that I used to think was important ( $$, monster home, possessions, career, etc) and that was while I was waiting for the surgery to save my life and I didn't know if I'd see my kids at Christmas 2009. Between the fall of 2008 and the spring of 2009 (April 30th when I went under). I "lost" everything Id worked 20 years for (90% of my net worth) including my "family", and almost my life. Feb 23rd 2009 was the day I came home to an empty house and dear john letter.

    It can have up to an 80% recurrence rate and has a high association with malignancy and finality. I've lived with that for 6 years, will always live with that. I don't lose any sleep at the prospect not then, not now. These days, I don't sweat much nor take anything/anyone for granted.

    What's important, is that your there with her as you always have been (if not in body, then spirit), and will be. Take it from someone whose "been there". Not honey do's that weren't, not the past, nor the future….. but the present.

    edit add
    Nicely said Jason.
    Last edited by JBen; September 14th, 2014 at 06:13 AM.

  9. #18
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    You are right, many of us like to argue here. What we are though is a community of sorts and likely all agree on the most important things and mostly that's family. In my redneck world that trumps everything as it does in most of the people I love to poke here. Be there for your family, in the end its pretty well our most important job on this earth. Im not really one to pray but I do make exceptions. Be strong.
    I’m suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog who doesn't like a person.

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulR View Post
    We go online to this site, we talk about hunting and fishing, things that we enjoy, things that make out lives more enjoyable. We share our good fortune and our missed shots with others with similar interests. We share our knowledge with others, and learn from others, and that is good.

    We also have the off topic area where the discussion turns to everything from politics, religion, government, and laws. Some of the longest post seem to be in the off topic area, and also where the greatest number of arguments start. I haven’t checked, but I’d be willing to bet that there are more locked threads in Off Topics than in any other areas.

    And just how much time do we waste arguing over stupid things, Conservatives versus liberals, gun control, changes to hunting regulations, and even religion. Perhaps that time could be spent on better things.
    About a year ago, my wife went for an examination, women things, and some tests came back that concerned her doctor. As a result, she ended up undergoing a hysterectomy. They said everything was clear, but she was still having issues that took her to the doctor in the first place. Back last winter she went to see her doctor about sever lower back pain. She was given a prescription for muscle relaxants and told it would go away. It didn’t, and she ended up going to the emergency department where with no examination she was told it was sciatica, go see her family doctor. Eventually her doctor sent her for an MRI. She had barely gotten home from the MRI when her doctor called and wanted to see her the next day. Not sciatica, not back issues, it was cancer.

    She was in for a CAT scan the next day, and it was confirmed. A biopsy was scheduled, but unlike high ranking politicians, it wasn’t for several weeks. The results were bad, stage 4, radiation treatment was an option, not for a cure, or even to slow it, just for pain relief.

    While radiation provided some relief, the cancer is advancing quickly. She has started Chemo, but even with that, she only has 6 to 8 months, if she is lucky.

    I’m not here looking for sympathy, only to warn others not to make the mistakes I have made. We have been married for close to 40 years, and the past 20 years I have spent travelling all over North America for work. Things would be scheduled for family events, something would go wrong someplace, I’d cancel the event and head out on the road. I missed birthdays, anniversaries, I was even on the road when my mother passed away. I cancelled more appointments with specialists when something came up at work, appointments hat had taken 6 to 8 months to get in to see a doctor.

    Phone calls for support would come in during meals, I would leave the table and take the call. Supper would be on the table when I would call home to say that I would be a couple of hours late. I’d travel, leaving Sunday afternoon to be onsite Monday morning, and I catch the last flight back to Toronto Friday nights, or a red eye back for Saturday morning.

    OF course, with all the travel, come time off, I just wanted to sit around the house, or do the things that I wanted. A 120 year old home we have been in for 20 years, and the renovations still aren’t finished. The laundry room that was desperately in need of repairs, I started the work last winter, it still isn’t finished. But when worked called, I had a 20 minute rule, keep a bag packed. I thought nothing of going to work for a normal day, but then heading home, grabbing my bag, and off to the airport. Didn’t matter what was happening at home, work always seemed to come first.

    And now all I have left with my wife is a few months. What I wouldn’t give to have just some of that time back. So be warned, start now, spend the time with your family, your friends, your loved ones, because you will never know just how little time you have left.

    Paul
    I'm very sorry to hear of your wife's plight and I absolutely feel your pain and frustration. Cancer has taken almost my whole family-father and sister,both at a very young age and mother,a few years ago. Needless to say,me and my kids get checked every year. So far,so good.....touch wood. I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Great strides are always being made in the fight against this terrible disease,so,there's always hope. Good Luck and God bless!
    Society needs to stop bending to the will of the delusional.

  11. #20
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    Paul, never regret your pass but instead enjoy everyday as it was your last. Unfortunately, in my line of work I see the sadness and sorrow in peoples eyes each and every day especially when I visit a cancer centre (again tomorrow morning). Cherish what you have accomplished and I'm sure with the blessing of your loving spouse for the last 40 years. Just think for a moment that the table could easily be reversed. We are here for a short time, not a long one. I also have cancer in my immediate family with my sister and her 2 boys living without a large intestine. They make the best of trying to live a normal life each and every day.

    Best wishes to you, your wife and family in this difficult moment.

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