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Thread: Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives :)

  1. #1
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    Default Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives :)

    1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

    2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

    3. Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.

    4. Dogs' parents never visit.

    5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day.

    7. Dogs find you amusing when you're pissed.

    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

    9. Dogs won't wake you up at night to ask: "If I died, would you get another dog?"

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell 'em.

    11. Dogs love to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

    12. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit pondering why you don't lick 'em.

    14. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on, without calling you a pervert.

    15. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won't kick you in the crotch; it just finds it interesting. And last, but not least:

    16. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won't take half your stuff.

    To verify these statements: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open the door, and observe who's happy to see you!

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  3. #2
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    Best I've heard in a while. Like the verification best.

  4. #3
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    Thanks Mike!! I'm getting used to wine and coffee coming out my nose!!

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by jim View Post
    Thanks Mike!! I'm getting used to wine and coffee coming out my nose!!
    That's better than what I got...My wife read the post over my shoulder and I got a cuff across my ear for the effort

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    Years ago returning something to Walmart and the wife with me, I asked if I could exchange her for a new younger model. Neither the Walmart employee or the wife thought it was funny. I did.

    Women are sometimes so sensitive go figure.
    "This is about unenforceable registration of weapons that violates the rights of people to own firearms."—Premier Ralph Klein (Alberta)Calgary Herald, 1998 October 9 (November 1, 1942 – March 29, 2013) OFAH Member

  7. #6
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    Hmmm


    WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
    Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
    Dogs miss you when you're gone.
    Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
    Dogs don't criticize your friends.
    Dogs admit when they're jealous.
    Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
    Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
    Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
    You can train a dog.
    Dogs are easy to buy for.
    You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
    The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
    (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
    Dogs understand what no means.
    Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
    Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
    Dogs admit it when they're lost.
    Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
    Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
    Last edited by Sharon; September 23rd, 2017 at 08:06 PM.

  8. #7
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    My bro learned the hard way, he's had dogs ever since.

  9. #8
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    Damn straight I'd trust a Dog before I ever trusted a woman.
    It's better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.

  10. #9
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    Dogs are pretty easy to train. Takes a lot longer to properly train a wife pretty much most of my life.
    "This is about unenforceable registration of weapons that violates the rights of people to own firearms."—Premier Ralph Klein (Alberta)Calgary Herald, 1998 October 9 (November 1, 1942 – March 29, 2013) OFAH Member

  11. #10
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    LOL great post
    "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life"

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