All That is Really Important is Time Sorry for the long post.

[PaulR]

We go online to this site, we talk about hunting and fishing, things that we enjoy, things that make out lives more enjoyable. We share our good fortune and our missed shots with others with similar interests. We share our knowledge with others, and learn from others, and that is good.

We also have the off topic area where the discussion turns to everything from politics, religion, government, and laws. Some of the longest post seem to be in the off topic area, and also where the greatest number of arguments start. I haven’t checked, but I’d be willing to bet that there are more locked threads in Off Topics than in any other areas.

And just how much time do we waste arguing over stupid things, Conservatives versus liberals, gun control, changes to hunting regulations, and even religion. Perhaps that time could be spent on better things.
About a year ago, my wife went for an examination, women things, and some tests came back that concerned her doctor. As a result, she ended up undergoing a hysterectomy. They said everything was clear, but she was still having issues that took her to the doctor in the first place. Back last winter she went to see her doctor about sever lower back pain. She was given a prescription for muscle relaxants and told it would go away. It didn’t, and she ended up going to the emergency department where with no examination she was told it was sciatica, go see her family doctor. Eventually her doctor sent her for an MRI. She had barely gotten home from the MRI when her doctor called and wanted to see her the next day. Not sciatica, not back issues, it was cancer.

She was in for a CAT scan the next day, and it was confirmed. A biopsy was scheduled, but unlike high ranking politicians, it wasn’t for several weeks. The results were bad, stage 4, radiation treatment was an option, not for a cure, or even to slow it, just for pain relief.

While radiation provided some relief, the cancer is advancing quickly. She has started Chemo, but even with that, she only has 6 to 8 months, if she is lucky.

I’m not here looking for sympathy, only to warn others not to make the mistakes I have made. We have been married for close to 40 years, and the past 20 years I have spent travelling all over North America for work. Things would be scheduled for family events, something would go wrong someplace, I’d cancel the event and head out on the road. I missed birthdays, anniversaries, I was even on the road when my mother passed away. I cancelled more appointments with specialists when something came up at work, appointments hat had taken 6 to 8 months to get in to see a doctor.

Phone calls for support would come in during meals, I would leave the table and take the call. Supper would be on the table when I would call home to say that I would be a couple of hours late. I’d travel, leaving Sunday afternoon to be onsite Monday morning, and I catch the last flight back to Toronto Friday nights, or a red eye back for Saturday morning.

OF course, with all the travel, come time off, I just wanted to sit around the house, or do the things that I wanted. A 120 year old home we have been in for 20 years, and the renovations still aren’t finished. The laundry room that was desperately in need of repairs, I started the work last winter, it still isn’t finished. But when worked called, I had a 20 minute rule, keep a bag packed. I thought nothing of going to work for a normal day, but then heading home, grabbing my bag, and off to the airport. Didn’t matter what was happening at home, work always seemed to come first.

And now all I have left with my wife is a few months. What I wouldn’t give to have just some of that time back. So be warned, start now, spend the time with your family, your friends, your loved ones, because you will never know just how little time you have left.

Paul

[400bigbear]

Not much I can say Paul but the advise your giving is good . All the best to you and your wife . It's a hard road .

TD

[Oddmott]

Thanks for the reminder and words of wisdom Paul.

I'm extremely sorry that they're coming from such a place of pain for you.

It sounds like you're facing some fairly deep regrets - understandable, of course. I just hope you're not beating yourself up unfairly and are able to make every remaining second with your wife count.

[fratri]

So sorry to hear....
God Bless

[CptSydor]

I'm only 34 but my life will be changing dramatically next year, including voluntarily giving up an excellent career that I spent 8 years in university to obtain (and that I enjoy). But I've only got one go around in this life and it's time to start doing it more 'my way'. This will include more opportunity to spend time with those I love, doing how we want to and working way less.

I am very sorry to hear about your wife, but if nothing else, your post is a reminder/confirmation to me that these things are extremely important and I thank you for that. I hope and wish you and your wife have an amazing time left together.

[GoldenLakePete]

Paul, I can only express my sorrow for your wife's health issues! My wife of 48 years is a 5-year survivor of cancer and I have tried to make every day count.

God Bless!

Pete

[JMatthews]

So sorry for you and your wife. Retiring early 2 years ago with my wife was one of the best decisions I have ever made. You never know where life will take you.

[wolfhunter]

Paul, what could I say to express my deep sorrow I feel for you. I took some advice from Garth Brooks and tell my wife everyday how I feel about her.

[gooseman]

Paul: we can never change what has taken place only what will. I am sure you worked to bring good things for your family. We can only wish you and your wife all the best in these hard times. This is a reminder that life is short and not to let it get away from you. We are all guilty of putting work or hobbies in front of the ones we love, we all need a reality check sometimes and give the ones we love a big hug and spend some quality time.

[greatrack]

so sorry to hear! my gfs aunt who she is vary close to has had breast cancer 2 times now, and has just had a close scare. I have learned early in life, family is the most important thing you will ever have!