One Legged Redneck - Paying the ferry man
So this is sort of a continuation of my one legged crossbow hunt that i pulled off on Tuesday Nov. 16, 2021. Typically one posts about their success on a particular hunt and less often we post about our failures and how we learn from them and sometimes to enjoy a good laugh. This post is about an epic fail and to laugh at myself for being such an idiot.
So the day after the hunt my leg felt remarkably good - should have taken that as an omen. Starting about midday on the Thursday (2 days later) the pain started to build. Being the obstinate fool i am i chose to ignore it. Well by Saturday dinner time i was at 60 hours without sleep and 48 hours without eating due to the nausea the pain was causing. So instead of going in to the hospital i asked my daughter if her boyfriend had anything for the pain as i was desperate to sleep. He is something of a marijuana guru so i figured he would have something. An hour later he showed up with one joint and a bottle of T3s (tylenol and codeine). I put them aside as i had to be a designated driver later in the evening for them but planned to take a couple T3s after that before bed.
Well at 936 pm i got a text from them saying they were not drinking and not to worry about the pickup. I decided to take two T3s right after that. Than at 10 pm i decided to smoke the joint. I have not done drugs since high school (39 years ago) and than only tried a single drag on a joint once at a party. Turns out the joint i received was 0.75 grams of marijuana at 26% THC. That works out to 195 mg of THC. Based on research done later THC adsorption is somewhere between 20 to 50% when you smoke a joint. I smoked the whole joint in 5 or 6 drags. Each drag was as large and inhaled as deeply as possible and than i held my breath before exhaling. Figured i had to make sure it worked. Well let me tell you normally i am analytical and do my analysis first - poor planning which i blame on my desperation for sleep. So say the transfer of THC was 30% efficient that equates to a dose of almost 60 mg of THC in about 5 minutes for a 165 lb man with 60 hours of no sleep and an empty stomach. Looking online afterwards that is a crazy stupid amount for an old man who has essentially never done pot before.
It hit me in minutes and i almost did not make it back into the house. Got to the kitchen and tried to get water but could not figure out how to turn on the fixture. Gave up and made it to the couch where i sat down. The whole time i was having only two thoughts - i am overdosing because of the mix of codeine and pot. The other thought was don't lose your phone you need it to get help. Tried to bring up the dialler to call 911 but could not manage it. Somehow managed to get my text history up and find my daughter on it. Didn't try my wife as she was already asleep for the night and she turns her phone off at night. Managed 3 texts to my daughter before i lost the phone but it was enough to get help:
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She called 911 and raced home. She came in and i was in flow blown terror attack, hallucinating, having an out of body experience and unable to move or speak. Clothes were soaked in sweat, hyper-ventilating, heart palpitations and blood pressure spiking above 200. Paramedics arrived shortly after and hooked me up to the machines (that's how i know BP was spiking over 200). They must have been having a slow night as they hung around for an hour re-assuring me and monitoring my vitals (great guys and very impressed with them). They were not worried about an OD per say but wanted to make sure the old man's ticker was not going to explode. After an hour the worst of the terror and hallucinations seemed to be over and i was just really high and the paramedics asked if i wanted to go to the hospital - i declined. Completely lost my ability to speak for that hour and just before the paramedics left I could only speak broken English. Spent the next 3 hours watching Star Trek and my daughter dutifully stayed up to baby sit the old man. After about 4 hours i did finally manage to sleep and got 12 solid hours.
Scared the friggin hell out my family and myself. Lesson learned - stay the F away from narcotics and maybe consult a doctor instead of the daughter's boyfriend and maybe do what the doc says in the first place (i.e. maybe i shouldn't have gone after that deer).
